Nunco voy a olvidar

Today is my last day. As I rip apart my apartment trying to figure what I want to bring I cannot help lose focus reflecting on my year.

This country has completed changed my life. It has made me realize what I had and didn't have in my life. I have met so many AMAZING and beautiful people that I will never forget. I love you, Ecuador. I love everything you have given me and forever you will always be a part of me.

I've been bad

Yes, it is true. I haven't been good about updating my blog. My head has been elsewhere. I just wanted to complain about some things. Like, why is it so difficult to do things in a sensible way? Or why don't my EPN students show up to class? That's right, their university forces them to take English for free, so why would they?

However, I have to also add that these past couple months have completely changed my experience here in Ecuador. I have met amazing students who have really displayed generosity and a genuine care for each other--including myself. I realized that going to the clubs that many of my (great) friends go to here is just not my thing. I mean, I can experience that in the States. But, going to a local Ecua bar in La Ronda, for example, is where you can really experience Ecuadorian culture via jarras of vino hervido [boiled wine], while dancing to musica nacional... How awesome is that?

A night of Indian classical dance at SAE

Indian classical dance workshop

I love dancing. Thus, saying no to a request from an SAE [South American Explorer’s Club] member to host an event about it seemed not an option. For my lovely readers who do not know of SAE, it is a club here in Ecuador that offers membership to those [usually foreigners] interested in their events. Events include trips to various parts of Ecuador, the beach, or even the jungle. Usually there are monthly club events as well and I hosted July's.

I spent quite some time preparing for it and even attempted making a braid—major fail by the way since the hair I bought was so cheap. The $2 synthetic material I bought at the African beauty store in Somerville was better than the $6.00 wig I found here. But, I decided, eh why use it?

So I dolled myself up accordingly and headed over to SAE. About 1 hr into the night there were 7 people total. And yes, that included the director who had no choice, but to be there.

Dancing is always a delight for me, but last night I’m pretty sure I couldn’t feel my toes. The floor was sooooo cold, unusually cold actually. But, my highlight was the support that I got from the 7 people who came and participated in the “workshop.” By the end of the night, I had a couple students, the director, my friends and a member complete a Namaskar and an adavu.

At least I can sleep now.

Everyday life begins...

So I was talking to Bobby last night and he suggested that I write more about my everyday life here in wonderful Ecuaworld.

Well, let's see. My Saturday morning really sucked because even though I absolutely love my new apt and it's location, there is one downfall. Right outside my window is a construction site. Hence, tons of awful noise, even at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. I mean, really? 6:30? Couldn't they just wait like another 2 hrs before ruining any possibility of waking up refreshed?

Oh well. Since I really couldn't sleep, I decided that breakfast and the gym would be a good idea. (Although, I haven't paid for the month of July yet!) Ooops!

So, I get to the gym after being on a very crowded Ecovia [one of Quito's bus lines] and do my thing. My goal, get it over with. And, after doing so, I promptly left for my favorite almuerzo[ traditional lunch meal] location, which is home to great Corvina [boatland fish], soup, lemonade, and rice all for $2.00! Kind of fabulous if you think about it. I was definitely a happy and very full girl. A nap was definitely needed at this point.

Let's dance! Or laugh?

My students presented their oral exams. As much as I love listening to my students' repetitive answers, I decided that this oral exam will be a little different. The assignment is actually an altered version of my colleague's daily activity. Students were asked to teach an English [language] song to the class. Provide background and an activity for the entire class. I had projects ranging from a dramatized version of Eminem's "Stan" to Michael Jackson's "Thriller". Basically, a very entertaining way to grade students!

Reflections of a brown girl

It´s almost the end of June. After a short visit back home, I realized just how much I missed everyone. How much I missed my Mom cooking way too much food whenever I came home. How much I missed being with my best friend, Angie or meeting my girls for some amazing flan in Somerville. And, of course missing my other half, Bobby. Usually, I would feel that discussing such a personal thing on a blog would be inappropriate. However, I realized that it´s because of these personal relationships and experiences that I´m here today.

As I got on my flight in Boston, I felt confident for the first time about leaving. I thought, I know I can do this. But, I honestly did not realize just how difficult it would be all over again. By the time I reached Miami, it sunk in. I realized I would not be back in the U.S till next year. Furthermore, the thought of not seeing my boyfriend for so long really made me wonder why I was doing all of this.

When I first came to Ecuador, I received a lot of criticism for ¨leaving¨ Bobby. So much so, that I wondered whether any of my decisions were right. But, my decision to come here was not to run away from anyone, but rather find new perspective. I wanted to step outside of my comfort zone—and well, I did.

There were days where I cried myself to sleep because I just wasn´t ready to be here. Physically , my body was a wreck, trying to adjust to hormones after thyroid cancer. My levels were not okay and quite often I felt exhausted. While the physical effects were there, not many people really grasped the emotional roller coaster one goes through after cancer treatment. I went from believing I was a perfectly healthy female to being diagnosed with a very treatable form of thyroid cancer. Treatment which includes getting your hormone levels up takes several months. By the time I got to Ecuador, a little over a month had passed. Knowing that I wasn´t completely well only contributed to my stress. Still, I questioned why I was here.

It was only after teaching that I started to feel alive again. I began to develop friendships with people I worked with and finally began to experience what Ecuador had to offer. I stopped questioning why I was here but it was only yesterday as I lost myself as I stood over-looking the city of Quito that I realized where my focus had been. I was focusing too much of my energy on what I thought I lost. I began to see what I was gaining; the experience to grow and nurture my body and mind. No longer did it feel it was foreign. No longer did I feel alone. No longer did I question.

June changes..

Just an update about what I'm doing. I moved out of the place I was staying. It was just too far away from civilization and now I'm in the middle of everything. Since I've always had plants wherever I've lived, I decided to go plant shopping with my friend Kris.

I absolutely love the new location and have an awesome roommate too! Enjoy the pics...

So What is it about color???

Well, let me just say now that this post is well on a more different note. No, I won't be talking about exotic food that I had yesterday at the Esmeraldian restaurant but rather about color.

I find it interesting and well sad that one's skin color continues to determine intelligence, class, and beauty. This idea has continued to prevail throughout the centuries and time. I find myself occasionally baffled at this concept and wonder whether one day, things might change. Well, probably not in my lifetime. I wonder, why am I not as beautiful or exotic as the lighter-skinned Indian girl? Why does my friend have to hear comments about how dark she or her friends are?

I never thought I would see so much downright racism in such a short period of time but I have. Ecuador, though rich in cultural diversity promotes racist/classist ideologies in order to rationalize its poverty and treatment of the "other". A country where being black or indigenous designates you as naturally inferior.

As for me, where do I stand? Well, what I have noticed is that I lose some status as attractive simply because of my skin color. Ironically, my position as a foreigner allows me to remain somewhat appealing but not quite as much as the blond next door. Maybe this is good?? After all, I won't get harassed as much by the locals!

Ah, despite all the BS my new home manages to remain beautiful. What I have learned is that no matter where you go in this world, some things don't change.

Sincerely,

Your brown friend in Ecuaworld. :)

Bienvenidos a Ecuador.

Finally I created a blog for all you wonderful friends and family memebers to read. It's Tuesday afternoon and I'm sitting in what I believe to be Quito's only wireless cafe. I might as well soak up my comforts while I have them before I run off to work in Ambato.

This past weekend was Carnival de las frutas y flores in Ambato. I was accompanied by two very young [14 year-old] boys who continuously demonstrated their interests in well, the female body. Yup, this is nothing new for ALL of Latin America but whistling and the shhhing sounds from males of all ages are part of the daily grind here. Moving on...the Carnival itself was an absolute blast, especially where sharing one cup with several strangers became customary. Ah, yes I did it. BUT I did mangage to refuse the pepper stuffed pig's head. Yeah, that didn't quite sit with me. After the Carnival, I headed off to the Elvis Crespo concert only to have him arrive 2 hrs late to his own concert. Ah, I guess Ecua-time manages to prevail no matter where you're from.

As I leave for Quito the next morning, I realized that I should have said 7am instead of 8am because by the time I left well, it was around 9:30am. The last image I had was the great grandmother chopping off the head of 2 little guinea pigs or cuy. And no...I have no regrets about missing lunch.

Off to Quito I go!